So apparently there’s this new fashion trend for nuggets: “skeggings” and “skapris.” Derived from the mid-90’s success of the “scourt” (a skirt with shorts underneath, for those of you who don’t remember the good ‘ol days of Power Rangers and neon sunscreen), these garments are quite convenient, I guess. They are leggings and capris, respectively, with skirts connected. I mean, I suppose it eliminates the whole flashing problem circa “insert celebrity name here” getting out of a limo sans panties. Then again, these scourt offspring are marketed toward little girls, which would hopefully not ever be in the flashing camp.
Which brings me to my next point: the product name. When I hear “skeggings” and “skapris,” I think not of adorable little Sarahs and Stephanies frolicking in a park and having tea time with Barbies. I think of the fact that my immediate association to the word is “skank.” And maybe it’s just me, but I’m of the moral camp that does not find it ever appropriate for “skank” to be associated with 10 year old nugs. Besides, “skank leggings” and “skank capris” have already been throroughly used and abused by Victoria’s Secret PINK pants. (Shameless plug: leggings are NOT pants unless you are attending yoga class, or they are VERY thick and your but is covered by a long sweater/shirt/dress. K, I’m done.)
So I wonder…who the eff came up with those names? I sort of get it – word combos are so in right now and totally on the rise But so is crystal meth, so there’s that.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a crochety twenty-three year old childless humbug who has nothing better to do than concern myself with confusing products.
But really…skeggings? Skapris? Why don’t we just make “swirts” while we’re at it (and by “swirts” I am obviously referring to short sleeve sweaters…duh).
On another note, here are some additional products for your Monday pondering:
Mint Sticks – I only wish I had come up with the brilliant idea of throwing broken candy canes into a jar and selling it as an upscale product. Dammit. Could’ve been my big break.
Fanny Pack Belt – Because purses are so 2012.
Hippopotamus Ornaments – I get it, it’s an homage to the very catchy and very annoying Christmas song. Except there also is in existence a travel coffee mug ornament, tool ornaments, and a yoga mat ornament. And nothing puts me in the Christmas Spirit quite like a neon green and purple yoga mat. Oh boy.
This has been my wtf rant of the day. The end.