Musings From My Cubicle: Personal Bubble

You know what’s fun? When people at work stand right behind my chair IN MY DESK AREA and have a full blown 15 minute convo.  And by fun I mean go the fuck away.

Sometimes I’m tempted to turn around and politely smile and say, “I’m sorry to interrupt your very important conversation about your child’s preference of Cheerios to Lucky Charms, but could you please take your mindless discussion elsewhere?  Because you are currently standing in the land of NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.”

But that would be mean.  And here, we employ a constant stream of Minnesota Nice.  Which means I’ll just passive aggressively stop what I’m doing every few minutes and sigh really loud.  Or maybe turn ever so slightly in hopes I’ll catch the eye of the perpetrators.

Oh.  Wait, now they’re gone.  Thank God, because I was just about to…

OH MY FUCK. HE’S STARTING A DIFFERENT CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE.  Hey buddy, I know there isn’t a door on my cube and the little hallway runs directly beyond my side wall, but I have a personal bubble.  And you are currently stabbing it with a metaphorical pin.  Go IM someone.  Or hey – here’s an idea – send them this really cool thing we do in the 21st century called EMAIL.  I’ve heard it’s quick, concise, and most of all – not annoying and intrusive (unless you’re a retailer meaning you send out a mass email every time you take a shit).

If you want to bring me a grande skim vanilla latte every time you decide to rent my area for a chitty-chat, by all means.  If there is no coffee in hand for yours truly, then beat it.  Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.  I’m tryna plan my weekend.  I’ve got multiple cocktail recipes to choose from, and it’s a very lengthy and detailed process.  Scram.

And on that note, TGIF.  I think I need more coffee.


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