A Working Woman’s (Almost) Cure for Boredom

Being in the working world is great.  I have a weekly paycheck, I can afford rent, I don’t have to live in a cardboard box, I can put my intellectual learnins from schoolin’ to good use, and I get a chance to build my resume.

But realistically, most of the time I find myself just sitting.  Nothing to do.  Bored.  So is the life of an entry level recent grad.  Luckily, I have great coworkers who entertain me daily.  But for the time between our “business” lunches and walks to get “coffee,” I have to find something to occupy myself with.

Waaaa.  My life is so hard.  I know, I know.  Get over it, right?  There’s like, starving people in this world and AIDS is rampant.  I get that.  And I sympathize.  So before you start shoving a finger of blame up my ass, know that I worked tirelessly with domestic violence awareness in college and I’m a proud supporter of cancer research and diabetes runs.  I’m a fucking philanthropic goddess.  Who is sex on legs.  And has celebrities everywhere clamoring for a round in the sack.

That last bit may have been an exaggeration.  The world will never know.

Everyone has a weakness.  Boredom just happens to be mine.  I bring you a list of ways to entertain yourself at work.  But proceed with caution, for they are both addicting and require a good amount of spy skills.  AKA, if you have a manager looking over your shoulder every few minutes, I would not suggest partaking in most of the activities listed below.  If not, partake away!  I’ll see you in hell.

  • Watch random youtube videos like this Ode to Tight Pants.
  • Take pointless selfies at sort of inconspicuous angles so nobody at work can tell what you’re doing but everyone who sees the picture knows you’re sitting in your cube.
  • Master the art of toggling back and forth between screens so you can watch hulu and “work on” a spreadsheet at the same time.
  • Do sudoku.
  • Become best friends with Sporcle.
  • Buy a calendar of mind games for your desk so you can occupy at least five minutes a day with useless word-matching exercises.
  • Stare out the window and dream about your wedding with Jake Gyllenhaal.
  • Eat Nutella by the spoonful.
  • Scoop Nutella onto pretzel crisps.
  • Eat Nutella by the spoonful.
  • Close Nutella jar.
  • Stare at Nutella jar.
  • Decide to eat just one more spoonful.
  • Make a list of all the places you’d like to live one day (AKA everywhere you’d rather be than sitting at your desk).
  • Write a poem.
  • Organize your file folders for the ninth time this week.
  • Organize your highlighters.
  • Organize your pens.
  • File your nails.
  • Log onto facebook and go into a state of depression when you realize that nobody has updated their status in the last five minutes.
  • Watch more random youtube videos like Friends bloopers.
  • Go to SNL‘s homepage and watch sketches on an endless loop.
  • Eat another spoonful of Nutella.

Realize it’s only 9:05am and you still have 7 hours to go.

Go back to beginning of list and repeat.

And repeat.

And repeat.

Fuck.  This day is the worst.

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