I may or may not have mentioned this a few times (RE: a million times) before, but I’m not really a cooking kinda girl. I prefer the magical wonders of takeout. Particularly Chinese food.
My go-to is a little place literally a block and a half away from my apartment. It takes about three minutes to walk there. BUT – this magical palace of rice and eggrolls is one of the ONLY Chinese places I’ve ever come across that DELIVERS. TO MY FRONT DOOR. So, I prefer to pay an extra couple bucks, sit in the comfort of my bed in sweats and no bra (Down boys, down!), then throw on a sweatshirt, run down the steps, sign a piece of paper, and remain in my very attractive state without ever having to step foot outside. It’s simply diviiiiiiiine.
In addition to being the source of my lunch for the next two days (in addition to that night’s dinner), usually they pack far too many fortune cookies in my order, which means I get a little sugary one liner at work to look forward to. Yesterday, I opened the delicious little treat, anxious to read what would surely be a prediction relevant in some way to my love life. I was hoping for something along the lines of, “You have a hot bod and in the next hour all men with jaws of steel in a five mile radius will line up outside your door and you will get a go at all of them.”
Instead, I got this:
“Digital circuits are made from analog parts.”
Um. What the fuck.
It was at this moment that I turned to my coworker and handed her the riddle. Because surely there was no way that was an actual fortune.
She looked at it and responded, “It means that big things are made up of many smaller parts.”
Oh yeah. Except…um…what the fuck.
How in the fire-ridden pit of hell is that supposed to relate to my life?
Perhaps it means my family will be thrilled that the teeny tiny gifts they’re getting for Christmas thanks to my bottomless salary (ha…I just made a funny) will be enough as they will be enveloped in an abundance of love? Perhaps it means I can eat an entire batch of cookies as long as I first crumple it into a pile of crumbs, then calories don’t count?
Hey, yeah – I rather like that last one. Yes. I shall take it to mean exactly that.
Good thing I just made a batch of cookies. Mmmm…get at me.
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