When I was in da souffff for my fam reunion a few weeks ago, I was talking to my grandma in the kitchen about life/love/blah blah blah, when she turned to me and said, “You know, I’ve been watching you this trip and you aren’t too comfortable with kids, are you?”
To which I replied,”Um…no. I actually do better with dogs.”
Kids can be cute and fun and all, and I’m sure if I ever have one/some, I’ll simply adore him/her/them. But at this point in my life, whenever someone hands me a drooling nugget, I sort of freeze up and start in with the “Oh…um…he’s so…tired…and…bald…”
Case in point: at the reunion, a few of us were standing outside next to my little four month old cousins (in their baby rocker/carrier thingie-ma-jiggers). It was a bit chilly, so as I was the closest to little Garrett, my Aunt Cindy said, “Megan, cover his head so he doesn’t catch a cold.”
Problem was, the nugget was swadled in his blanket and there was no way it was going to reach his head. So, I grabbed his bib and placed it on top of his head. Quite logical, if you ask me.
Aunt Cindy suddenly burst into hysterical laughter behind me. Apparently, one is supposed to simply drape a blanket over the handle of the rocker/carrier thingie-ma-jigger to thus insulate the baby without suffocating it.
Needless to say, my maternal instincts haven’t kicked in yet.
As I mentioned before, I tend to be much more comfortable with dogs. My cocker spaniel (which I’m sure you all are well aware of) is what one might call “spoiled.” I let him sleep with me every night, he paws at my breasts and he has his own doggy bed with his name embroidered on top. Total diva.
In addition to furry friends, I form an attachment to every single pair of shoes I buy (which you also may have figured out). Regardless of brand, color, price, new, old, used, leather, faux leather, suede, faux suede, heel, flat, boot, blah blah blah, I love them all. I am the Shoe Goddess and they are all my little lambs, belonging to their respective places and unconditionally loved by their Mother even if they give me disgusting blisters and pinched toes.
Today, I wore my beloved thigh-high black boots that I found for 10 Euros while I was studying abroad in France. They went perfectly with my mint patterned sweater and have always served they key purpose of disguising the fact that my high-waisted jeans are actually mom jeans bought from the mom section at JC Penney. Faaaabuuuuloooouuuuusssss!
The only teeny tiny itty bitty teensy weensy drawback to this pair is that when I bought them, they were the ONLY ones on the clearance table, and unfortunately were a size too small. But, being the stubborn cow that I am, and never ever being able to pass up a sale, I bought them anyway and for the last two years I have been walking around in them, gladly trading pinched feet for style. (I’m very smart).
So today I finally decided to look to see if I could find a replacement pair. Naturally, every pair I was drooling over was about five times more than I was hoping to pay, so that idea went right out the window. But sadly, when I returned to my desk from my brief lunch break, Iooked down and realized that the soles were starting to peel off. And that meant the imminent death of my beloved boots.
(Cue dramatic “Requiem” funeral music).
My coworker suggested I re-vamp them and turn them into a clutch. I thought, “Ooooo that’s a fab idea!” And then, just as I was about to take the scissors to the lining, I stopped. I just couldn’t do it. It was like Rose letting go of Jack. My babies were about to end their awe-inspiring life, and I couldn’t be the one to do it.
So Anna took the scissors from my hands and made the first slice. And there was simply no turning back. (Part of me died in that moment. Such a sad, sad day.).
I do fully intend to fashion them into something else, but for today, I shall mourn the loss of my lovely little thigh-highs. I shall miss you, my precious gems! Farewell! Adieu! Au Revoir!
The loss of such an important piece of my closet has got me thinking…perhaps one day I won’t be so skittish towards children and give them as much if not more attention and love as my shoes.
Wait, I take that back. Maybe one day my shoes can just suck in their guts a little and make room for a little extra love. Because Lord knows I’m not about to give my collection up 😉
The actual outfit before the shoes’ demise:
And this is what happens when thigh-high boots make your legs sweaty and really, really sexy:
I find it’s a much better look, don’t you think?
I can picture it now: Fashion Week 2013!
Style Tip of the Day:
Sweaters are a great way to bring in the holiday season. And while ugly sweaters remain gems for those wonderful themed parties, for your day-to-day wardrobe, invest in a sweater with a bold pattern – but in softer colors. It helps to balance the look and give you attitude while still allowing you to rock the look at work. Woohoo!