Once upon a time there was a pretty pretty princess named Megan. She liked to wear pink on pink on pink in order to best resemble an arrow-toting cherub.
Princess Megan never sweat. She glistened. She never pooped either. She simple tinkled when nature called.
Princess Megan lived with her trusty
dog steed, Barkley, in a tower high above the clouds looking down on an ivy-covered alley valley. She brushed her static-ridden and tangled long flowing and perfectly blown out hair a minimum of 100 strokes a day to keep its shine dazzling and its texture silky smooth.
Princess Megan had a wonderful life filled with endless hours of singing to the wildlife and pondering on love.
But Princess Megan had one problem: there were far too many suitors after her glowing bod. And said suitors were far too difficult to choose from, for each had a chiseled jawline, abs of steel, and the sexual prowess of a tiger. As they all stood in a line beneath her
apartment window tower in the sky, she felt a small line of drool making a trail down her chin. For each candidate pierced her with a pair of sensual eyes she couldn’t help but drink in. They were also half naked, which rendered her will power weak. How was she to survive such a heart-wrenching choice?
Alas, the beautiful creatures standing below her tower were none other than Prince Jake Gyllenhaal, Prince James Franco, Prince Patrick Dempsey and Prince Gerard Butler – all madly in love with her.
Princess Megan turned to her trusty steed and begged of him, “Whom do I choose? I can’t possibly bear breaking any hearts!”
To which Barkley replied, “Listen here Miss Thang, I thought I was your man. Tell them to go away. Your twin bed can barely fit the two of us. No need to go shopping for a new one.”
At first Princess Megan was stunned by his sass. Then, as she thought about the logistics of the situation, she realized he was right.
“Oh, trusty steed, what would I do without you?”
Princess Megan bid a friendly farewell to her suitors and watched as Prince Jake, James, Patrick and Gerard rode their trusty steeds half naked into the sunset.
Style Tip of the Day:
Mix different shades of a bright color for an eye-popping look. I paired a pastel pink blouse with bright pink lipstick – va-va-voom! To balance, make sure to wear neutrals (in my case, black/gray) and let the color pop!